Bed Down in My Soul in this House Beneath the Stars
by Shoumai
Summary: Sequel to Death is at the Door. Sleepovers with angels and the morning after


A/N: Wrote this late last night and it's short enough that I had time to type it up before work so here it is.

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion

If Shinji is being honest with himself, he hadn't known what to expect the morning after asking Kaworu to stay.

They stayed up too late talking, Shinji pouring our far more of himself to the angel than he even realized he had self. He was always so empty, a human shaped nothingness, but with Kaworu he is so full of so much he feels like he might burst. They lie facing each other on the living room floor, whispering secrets back and forth.

Kaworu resting on the carpet beside him is breathtaking. His gentle smile never leaves his ivory lips and it is so unexpected and wonderful for angel of death to have eyes that are so alive. "I feel as if meeting you has given meaning to my existence."

'Then don't leave' Shinji nearly says but swallows it back the same way he blinks the heaviness from his eyelids. He doesn't have the courage to ask and can't bear to miss a second of having Kaworu here.

Somewhere between one breath and the next Shinji falls asleep.

When he wakes up the air is cool and the living room is cast in gray predawn light. There is a throw pillow under Shinji's head and a tablecloth laid over him. And he is alone. The balcony door is open, letting the spring draft in and all that remains of the angel's presence is a silvery-white feather resting delicately beneath Shinji's fingers.

He is immediately upset. He had thought it would happen, that the novelty of getting to talk to a human would wear off due to it being Shinji, and that Kaworu would vanish in the morning. But having him slip out in the middle of the night, not even waking Shinji up to say goodbye, _hurts_.

Shinji knows that he should go to bed properly. He already aches from the scant hours he's slept on the floor and it's only going to get worse is he stays here. But Shinji can't even will himself to get up long enough to close the balcony door.

Instead he clutches the feather carefully to his chest and squeezes his eyes shut tightly against the burn of tears. He just wants to go back to sleep, to not have to feel or be and put off this crushing sense of abandonment for a little while longer.

When he wakes up again the room is brighter and a bit warmer. But Shinji doesn't notice any of that because Kaworu is lying next to him. His head is propped up on his hand and his red eyes are watching Shinji intently.

It takes a moment, Shinji doesn't think this can be real at first. But then Kaworu frowns softly in concern and rubs a thumb over one of Shinji's tear tracks.

The realness of the touch is a shock against his skin. Shinji is desperate for it not to leave and reaches up to hold it in place. "You left." He croaks, the muzziness of sleep eroding his filters.

Kaworu makes no attempt to move his hand and instead strokes his thumb along Shinji's cheekbone. "I'm sorry. I didn't have the heart to wake you, I was hoping to be back before you noticed."

Shinji takes a breath, the comfort of Kaworu's words a balm on his earlier heartache. He meant to come back, he wasn't abandoning him. "It's okay. I'm really happy you came back, I missed you." He really is happy and he offers the angel a sincere, sleepy smile.

Kaworu blinks, his pupils a little wider and his cheeks a light pink before his expression brightens. "You really are too beautiful not to love."

Shinji flusters a bit under the weight of that declaration. It's too early for him to know how to handle being told he is loved for the first time in his entire life. He's still half awake and reckless, drunk on the euphoria that Kaworu's affections have brought him. "Stay with me?" He asks, lifting up the tablecloth-turned-blanket in invitation.

Shinji has no awareness for how he must look; messy-haired in a rumpled school uniform, his face streaked from tear tracks and flushed from sleep and love declarations, and a small hopeful smile tugging at his lips, his fingers curled protectively around a feather he holds to his chest.

Kaworu has all the awareness in the world for it. The way those blue eyes could be an ocean all their own and he would be happy to let himself drown. He remembers how to move and settles himself closer beneath the tablecloth. He moves his arms to wrap around Shinji's waist and hears the boy sigh and respond in kind.

The hardness of the floor doesn't matter now. Shinji thinks he could sleep here every night for the rest of his life so long as it's like this.

A/N: Am I the only one who really likes the idea that Kaworu wasn't sure where to find a blanket, saw the tablecloth, and thought 'perfect'? XD


End file.
